Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why do flat Earthers run away like whipped dogs with their tails between their legs when asked simple questions that expose their delusions as fantasy?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do you think Democrat favorability ratings are so low?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

My cantankerous beagle is very badly behaved at the dog park and always starts barking at the other dogs. Would pepper spray be an effective method to correct his inappropriate behavior?

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

How can someone in your family purposely try to destroy your reputation?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What is unattractive about a nice guy? Why do some women don’t choose nice guys?

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

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I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I can read

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

How could NASA possibly land on the moon when it's impossible to reach the moon through the Earth's dome? Why are they making up such an obvious lie?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t buy bullshit

Can you explain the concept of an annulment of marriage in the Roman Catholic Church and its effects on a previous marriage?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I don’t cotton to rapists

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

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I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

If babies could write, what questions would they ask on Quora?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

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I can count

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What is the process of becoming an Evangelical preacher? Is attending seminary school necessary? How long does it typically take? Is it financially challenging?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I see through liars

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”